10 Ways To Be A Happier Mom
Let’s talk about happiness. True happiness. Not the fake stuff you see on Facebook and Pinterest. So often, how we feel as a mom is a bit different than what we envisioned. I believe that a happy mom equals a happy family, so today is about helping you find more happiness and presence!
Would your kids say that you are a happy mom? Are you? Or are you living in a cyclone of overwhelm, feeling rushed, feeling like you are doing everything for everyone else and have little time for your own happiness?
For most moms I talk to, life as a mom feels a little different than they had expected. Most moms would say that they want to be happier. With themselves, their lives, their marriage. And the good news is that I think you can be.
In a study of thousands of individuals worldwide, U.S. parents reported significantly lower levels of happiness than non-parents — and lower levels than in 21 other countries. The stress of parenthood is enormous, and it's especially stressful in the United States.
Why does it matter if you are a happy mom?
Is that self indulgent? a fantasy? I hardly think so.
I believe that moms set the tone for the family. Moms are a catalyst for change in the family. So if we can help mom be happy, we can create a ripple effect and teach our kids how to be happy.
When you first looked into your baby’s eyes, how did you feel?
Did you have a picture of your happy family? bet you didn’t think about the sleepless nights, the never ending laundry, lack of sex, exhaustion, carpooling… ugh. Feeling a little unhappy myself.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Have kids I mean? Oh, because we had a place in our heart that we didn’t even know could be so deeply filled? Because the connection with our child is deeper than any we have ever known. All true. But that doesn’t meant that they bring us happiness.
This isn’t just a mom thing. Everyone wants to be happier.
Let’s all agree that we love our kids beyond measure. We just want to be a little happier.
Did you know that most of us have a happiness set point?
Researchers posit that 50 percent of our set-point comes from genetics, while 10 percent is determined by our circumstances (like our job, marital status, wealth).
Wait, there’s 40% left? That comes from your thoughts, feelings, words, actions. So yes, it is possible to change your set point.
Life, liberty and the practice of happiness. In Jeffersons day, the word pursuit meant practice, not chase after. So, consider how you are practicing this on a daily basis.
Ask yourself, what is 1 thing I could do in my daily life to practice happiness?
What 1 thing could you remove from your life to give you more happiness?
One thing to remove is your negative thoughts.
We think 60k thoughts per day
95% of those were the same as before
80% of those are negative
This means that every day, most people have 45,000 negative thoughts.
Why? because our brains are programmed to think that negative is a safety mechanism
In the book Happiness for no reason by Marci Shimoff, she tells of a parable about the wolf. “One evening a Cherokee elder told his grandson about the battle that goes on inside of people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between the two “wolves” that live inside us all. One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment, and inferiority. The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth, and compassion.’ “The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, ‘Which wolf wins?’ “The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’”
There’s an epidemic of unhappiness. 1 out of 5 women in America is on antidepressants.
It’s hard to say how much of this is all women and how much are moms. 1 in 4 moms experiences the postpartum blues. Postpartum depression is a whole different topic and one that needs to be taken seriously.
Most of the mom related unhappiness probably has to do with taking care of everyone else and not yourself. The saying is true, that you can’t pour from an empty cup. I talk more about having Mom-ME time in my book The Empowered Mama.
Here are my top 10 tips to helping you be a happier mom:
Start noticing the good in the day. Notice a beautiful sunset. Your baby’s laugh.
Practice daily gratitude. Start a gratitude journal. Keep a gratitude note with you.
Connect with positivity. Be careful of negative things on Facebook or toxic friends.
Plug in to your spirit. Whatever that looks like for you. God, Mother Nature, Meditation….
Get more sleep.
Protect your schedule
Connect with your spouse
Connect with your friends
Practice the ME in mommy. Every day take 10 minutes for you.
Take the time to do these 10 things and you will become a happier you. Remember, as with anything - it takes practice - even if that’s just for 10 minutes a day.