Sufficiency in Self Care
Most moms I speak to feel a sense of lack when it comes to their own health or self care. There is scarcity in motherhood. Scarcity in time for sure. But we can’t wait till our children are grown to figure out how to take care of ourselves. In fact, it’s important that we figure it out while our children are young.
One we are better moms when we take care of ourselves.
Two, we are modeling how we one day want our children to live. So how do we move from scarcity to sufficient?
If you had a symbol on your forehead like your phone does showing a charge, what would that look like?
Would the low battery light be flashing?
Are you needing a charge?
In my business, I get to speak to a lot of moms. I mean a lot of moms. And most are constantly struggling to figure out how or where their own self care fits into motherhood. First let me say that it’s way better than it used to be when I became a mom. Now at least moms know that their self care is a priority and that it is not selfish. Now we are pretty much in agreement that self care is literally how we become better moms, wives, employees, bosses, friends. But where we still seem to struggle is in how.
The fact is we are all so busy. Lives so full. We are so good at filling every moment of every day with motherhood, work, errands, house care, partner care. But the self care is still hard to fit in.
Moms ask me all the time how I balance work and motherhood. And the answer is this. There is never a time that you feel balanced and feel like there is enough time for all. You will need more time for work. More time for parenting. But I think the main reason you feel so out of balance is that the self care part is what is most often left out. You feel out of balance because you are juggling the work and motherhood but you don’t have time for yourself. So, the way I tackle that is by inputting my sufficient amount of self care in FIRST.
Now the key word here is sufficient. Enough. What is enough? People talk about the abundance in the universe. And that’s great, but realistically I do not have an abundance of time.
When I first became a mom 17 (almost 18) years ago, I really just noted my lack of opportunity for exercise. Because I started Stroller Strides, I was able to fill that gap. But what I realized was that self care wasn’t just about fitness for me.
And I think it’s different for everyone.
In every interview on my podcast I ask people about their self care.
I have heard everything from manicures to meditation.
Reading, to prayer to knitting, to journaling to walking the dog.
All of us are filled by different things.
Imagine that phone needing to be charged again.
What is it that makes you feel recharged.
When I looked at that for myself…
I need a little bit of solitude each day. Time for myself to process my thoughts. For me, that looks like journaling and meditation.
I do need to move my body every day in some form of exercise.
I need to get at least 7 hours sleep. 8 is better but 7 is my minimum.
So this is where I got my concept of minimum effective dose.
When doctors give a drug, they want to give you the minimum effective dose to get the desired result.
So I ask you, what is the desired result that you want?
And what would the minimum effective dose be to create that result?
It’s not about perfect. It’s about your personal minimum requirement. And that’s what you schedule first.